That is the direction my children gave to me when I asked them what they thought of my writing a blog. It is my goal, within this space, to attempt to chronicle my journey as a Live Kidney Donor.
My Dad has had slowly failing kidneys over the past 33 years. They were damaged many years ago—and the cause is still a mystery. Some Nephrologists have thought that the damaged was due to the prescription medication that my Dad had taken as a child for asthma, while others have said that it might have been caused by a virus. Regardless of the catalyst, his hard working kidneys have been slowly losing steam.
Around Christmas in 2009, my Dad informed me that his kidneys were getting much worse and that his doctors were beginning the process of putting him on the transplant list. He had a great deal of testing to go through in order to be approved for such a life saving procedure, but he was confident that he was going to be able to move forward with something that would significantly improve his quality, if not quantity, of life. At the time, I did not know what it would take for me to be considered as a Live Kidney Donor, but I wanted to see if I could be a candidate.
I do not want anyone to think, that since my Dad was the one that needed a kidney, that it was a foregone conclusion that I would give him one. If one of my kids needed a kidney, the Doctors would have had to work hard to stop me from taking it out myself. That being said, this was not a decision that I came to lightly. So how did I decide?
First, I talked to my husband and my kids. I wanted my support system to be a part of my decision from the beginning. If any of them had any real fears or hesitancy about my going through with this, then I was not going to proceed. Each one had pertinent questions that needed answers, but they were 100% behind me should their answers be satisfied. They love my Dad too.
Next, I went online to all of the websites dedicated to Live Kidney donation. I found out about tissue cross matching, blood types, risk factors, and the numerous tests that are used to qualify or exclude someone from donating. I found that provided no abnormalities existed in my own anatomy or kidneys, then I could be a candidate.
I explained to my Dad what I wanted to do, and he was both pleased and sad. I am guessing here; because like most fathers of his generation, my Dad is not particularly demonstrative when it comes to saying how he feels. I know that he feels as every parent would: Thrilled that his daughter would be willing to donate a kidney for him and sad that she would have need. I know that I would feel exactly the same if our situations were reversed.
He sent me a video entitled, “A Gift for Life: Live Kidney Donation.” It can be found at www.TransplantExperience.com
It was quite helpful in the emotional aspects of my decision. I knew at the conclusion of the video that I was making the right choice for me. That is the most crucial part of all of this. Donating any part of yourself has to be a gift given with your whole heart. A Living Kidney Donor cannot have any reservations or doubts. It is a heady choice to give up your back-up plan, and there is no guarantee that it is even going to work in the person for whom it is intended. The Doctors do everything that they can to ensure for a successful kidney transplant. They review hundreds of tests for both the donor and the recipient to make sure that everyone is healthy enough for the surgeries, the recovery, and their lives ahead. They also provide the anti-rejection medications that recipients need to take to ensure that they can keep the gifted kidneys healthy and strong. Yet, nothing in life is certain.
So I showed the video to my family, and they felt the same. I answered as many of their questions as I could. Then, I went online to read all of the blogs that I could find discussing Live Kidney Donation. I found truly remarkable people online--people who told heartwarming stories of giving their kidneys to complete strangers, who shared snippets and horror stories about pre-approval testing, or who spoke exclusively of their recovery. I wanted to read at least one person’s first person account of the entire process. That is why I decided to write my own.
My Dad was approved in March 2010. We had initially hoped that I could have donated last summer, but the testing and approval process is lengthy. It should be. So in March 2010 I started the pre-approval testing. I got my blood drawn so many times that the technicians at the local hospital were getting used to my veins. They knew the best places to draw blood while trying to stay away from the old bruises. I had so much of my body checked…and then they needed even more.
Over the summer, I flew out to New Mexico and finished up my testing at the hospital. I had a CT scan, a chest x-ray, an EKG, and more blood tests. Feeling like I should already qualify for the next mission to the moon, I met with the Transplant Team. This Team included my Living Donor Advocate, a Transplant Social Worker, a Transplant Nephrologist, and a Transplant Surgeon. When the Transplant Team met in August, I was given a green light and made an official candidate for my father for Live Kidney Donation.
I am a Preschool and Kindergarten teacher at a wonderful Montessori school in my hometown. This means that I needed to schedule the surgery around my students. Being a conspicuous part of each child’s school day, I cannot simply disappear from my classroom for the required six weeks, while I donate a kidney and recover from the surgery. My Dad’s Nephrologist agreed that he could wait, but if his health deteriorated or the situation became emergent…we would discuss moving up the schedule.
So now we are officially on the calendar. In June 2011, I will be traveling 1,148 miles from my home in Indiana to my Dad’s home in New Mexico so that I may give him one of my two healthy kidneys. I will post weekly so that I can describe the journey that will ultimately make me a One Kidney Wonder.
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